An emotional mess.
I started fast-forwarding to a few years down the road when he won’t just come up to me and give me kisses. To the time when I drop him off at school and he shies away from hugging me because he’s too embarrassed. To the time when I won’t be his whole world and he’ll choose playing with his friends more than me. Then driving and him going off to college. Him meeting a girl. Getting married....etc, etc!!!!! I just cry at the drop of a hat when I think about him getting older!
This morning I cried when I left him in the church nursery and cried when they came to get me because he was crying for me!
I’m a mess. M.E.S.S!
I cry because he doesn't need to nurse anymore, I don't have to pack him bottles anymore...He is growing up!
He needs me now and I will cherish his hugs and kisses FOREVER! I want to remember those open mouth slobbery, wet kisses. Those sideways hugs and big bright smile he gives when he sees me. The crooked way he crawls when I get to the babysitter and he is so excited to get into my arms--he just looks at the floor and crawls as fast as he can to get to me! (See I am getting teary now). With the other boys, I wasn't so sad when they turned one. Maybe because I knew there would be babies to follow....Coop is our baby. Our baby FOREVER! I know that I can’t hold on to my baby forever, but he’s just growing up so fast. A lot faster than I ever imagined.
It really makes me so sad on one hand, but on the other, it’s really exciting to see him growing up and exploring so much. He’s such a curious little boy and wants to know about everything and wants to do everything his brothers do.
Sure there are times when I get frustrated or feel like I could sleep for 3 more hours in the morning, but I’m not taking anything for granted. Babies aren’t babies for a long time and I’m so blessed that I was chosen to be Coop’s mom. I love him (and his big brothers)more than anything and in the "rough" moments, I remind myself of this. I’m cherishing the times, good and bad, because I know that they will pass so fast.
Gone within a blink of an eye really.
I love you, Cooper Lawson Day! Happy First Birthday!!!





